On Embodying Love

Recently I was asked to give the "sermon" at my friends' wedding at Duke Gardens. I felt completely honored to be a part of the ceremony in this way, and I delighted in writing and reading about the embodiment of love. It felt completely natural, as though I was stepping into a part of myself that's been waiting for some time to be expressed. Reflections on this process deserve their own post, so I won't go into this part of things right now. A few people have asked to read the speech, so here it is:

On Embodying Love

by Lila Pierce Brown

I am delighted to be able to make this offering today. What I'll read is based on time spent with one of my dear philosophy teachers, Bill Mahony, a professor at Davidson College, and a truly enlightened person to spend time with. His new book, Exquisite Love: Heart-Centered Reflections on the Narada Bhakti Sutra, just came out this past month. Bhakti is a form of yoga in which participants celebrate the Divine by singing, chanting, and making ecstatic offerings to the Source.

(NB Sutra) Verses 53 & 54 say:

“Love reveals itself where there is an able vessel. For when we love, it's an inner experience expressing itself.”

~Narada Bhakti Sutra 53 & 54

Each and every one of us has the possibility of being a vessel for love, as this is an inherent part of our deeper nature. How then, do we give ourselves to the practice of becoming an able place through which love can reveal itself? Through which our own inner experience becomes one that exudes from us, and inevitably reaches the world and all of those we come into contact with? I think these are pretty good questions, and some that deserve at least a little of our time...

When we prepare ourselves to receive the blessing of the Beloved, be that in the form of our life partner, or in the non-form of the Divine, (many mystics call the Divine, “Beloved”) we open ourselves to receive a gift that is much bigger than we are, and this Spirit, feeling our receptivity, washes over us and through us with joy and with sweetness. Because we have opened our hearts and our minds to receive such a blessing, we are invited to dwell in the pure nature of the Heart. When we allow ourselves to fully abide in this space, we become capable of Love itself. In fact, we become Love itself. I feel quite sure that we've all experienced what it's like to be completely absorbed in the feeling of Love. It's magical, joyful, exhilarating; and truly, I don't know that there is any other force in the Universe like it. Yet when we experience this love, we tend to think that it's only because of the other person, and in many regards, this is the case. But let's look at it through the lens of this passage: because we are so exuberant about our beloved, so enamored by them, all of the things that normally stand in the way of us and our own hearts are momentarily removed so that we get a direct taste of the nature that already lives inside, the nature of Love itself.

These verses remind us that our highest nature is one of Love, yet we as humans know that inevitably, we are going to experience things that keep us from being able to live, to really abide, in this part of who we are. And perhaps this is as it should be, for now, we get to learn the art and the skill of connecting with the Love that's inside, wanting to radiate out, because that's what love does, and we also get to experience the joy of returning “home” to the space of our own Heart.

Our relationship with the beloved in the form of our life partner is, in many ways, dependent on the relationship we have with ourselves. In the beginning of a lovely courtship, everything is perfect because nothing has come between us and our own Heart. Almost nothing our partner says can make us feel a separation from the ardent feelings we're having inside. Over time, this begins to shift, of course, and we begin to see our partner as who they really are. They become human again, as it should be, for they are, as are we. No more pedestals! This is when the real depth of the relationship can begin, both with the beloved, and with ourselves. If there is something within our own hearts that is preventing us from experiencing the true love of our highest nature, then we will be very clear on that, and immediately so in, say, a lovers' quarrel! So, what this sutra invites us to, is an exploration of who we are, the Love we hold inside, and all that prevents us from abiding in this Love as often as possible, especially in relationship with the beloved.

There is certainly a useful way to explore this possibility, one that gives us access to tools that will be of great help when it comes to removing all that stands in the way of us and Love. Being in relationship with anyone we care deeply about invites us to look more deeply at ourselves. It becomes a beautiful opportunity for us to, in the words of my teacher, practice “scrupulous honesty” in the way that we view ourselves. What is it that frustrates or upsets us when we quarrel with our beloved? What comes up for us during these times? Whatever it is gives us immediate clues about the attitudes and feelings we hold inside so that we can look clearly and honestly within to create a harmonious attitude there. This in itself is a continual process, and one that brings us closer to who we really are.

If there's something that we find inside ourselves that is not in harmony with Love, and we realize we're ready to shift it, the process moves to a different stage. This one involves pulling our energy out of the thoughts and emotions that block us from a loving disposition, and re-focusing this energy toward thoughts and feelings that are loving. Imagine how much awareness and willpower this takes! A lot. Yet we all have the steady courage inside necessary for this task. Imagine as well the result of this great exploration: more energy within ourselves to delight in the feeling of Love and be available to it as often as is possible. If we find this part of things completely challenging, we need remember the whole of the task at hand, not just this one part. So when we are, say, in the middle of a small tiff with anyone we care about, we can actively choose to redirect our energy from moving in a direction that's not a reflection of our highest nature, and put it somewhere that is more affirming. Again, we can remember the whole of the beloved and our relationship with them rather than just this one separate instance.

After clearing whatever feelings that have been holding us back from embodying the nature of Love inside, we offer them up with thanks and praise, honoring the process and the reconnection with who we really are. The Love that lives inside can reign supreme, and we are free to carry it with us wherever we go, most importantly, in our relationships with each other. And this is, as aforementioned, an ongoing process that through time, unfolds within us, welcoming us over and again into the space of the Heart, and to the ability to feel comfortable dwelling there.

My blessing for Brittney and Paul, and truly for everyone here, is this: May the highest Love reign supreme for each (one) of you, may you delight in the connection with this part of who you are, and may you embody this Love as often as possible, recognizing the true gift that it is!